The Christmas Martian

Our most beloved Christmas movies all have that one line that makes you feel all warm and cozy inside, no matter how many times you’ve heard it: “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.” “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!” “Merry Christmas you wonderful old building and loan!” “My name is Poo Flower.”

That last one is from The Christmas Martian, a French-Canadian movie that’s sure to become a beloved holiday tradition right up there with that VHS of Christmas With The Kranks you discovered your older brother recorded over with an episode of Red Shoe Diaries.

Poo Flower, (that is his name, we’re all gonna have to deal with it) is the titular martian. He does not come from Mars, and that’s honestly way down on the list of things that concern us about this movie. He shows up in Canada and proceeds to endanger the hell out of the two children who discover him. Fire, heavy machinery, horse manure, and a whole pile of alien pills are but a sampling of the delights these kids encounter at the hands of, say it with us now: Poo Flower.

As you’d expect this ends with a violent mob chasing down the poor alien on Christmas Eve. That’s when he’s forced to unleash the full force of his Martian powers to… well, you wouldn’t even believe us if we told you.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals! Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and Poo Flower for The Christmas Martian!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zach Shatzer