By the seventh Harry Potter movie, you’d think they were starting to run out of ideas! Not so! Deathly Hallows Part 1 introduces several brand new ideas to the fantasy genre such as: an item of jewelry that must be destroyed in order to eliminate an evil wizard and his army, and when you wear it, you slowly become evil and turn against your friends, which makes the long journey on foot across the countryside even more difficult. OK, so maybe that’s not too original. But there are lembas bread barf flavored jellybeans!

When our story begins, grave danger lurks in every inch of the wizarding world. How grave? Well, grave enough that our heroes cannot return to Hogwarts. Yes, that’s how bad things have gotten: evidently Hogwarts, the most dangerous death trap on the British Isles*, has somehow become even more dangerous. Note: this does not mean that the Weasleys will cancel the wedding of one of their unimportant sons and the girl from the movie where Edward the vampire died. Don’t be ridiculous.

While the Hogwarts action is lacking, Deathly Hallows does contain surly teens moping in the woods, an inexplicably animated section detailing the origin of O-Ren Ishii the deathly hallows, and the death of a character that may atone for Jar-Jar not biting it during any of the Star Wars prequels.

Beedle your bard, crank your pre-teen’s copy of Nick Cave’s Murder Ballads up to eleven, and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1!

* On their sign that says “__ days since last student accident” it just says “hahahaha” where the number would normally be.