Eragon

Are you a fan of Star Wars but feel that there just weren't enough brain-stunningly idiotic names for your taste? Do you like the Lord of the Rings films but find they move too quickly and make too much sense?

Did you enjoy The Matrix but wish it could have contained a horrendously embarrassing performance by former actor/professional picnic ham John Malkovich? Then you need help! That is, then Eragon is the film for you!

Ostensibly about some punk who finds a dragon egg, Eragon is actually a poignant onscreen documentation of the decline of Jeremy Irons, whose eye bags, if there were any justice, would have received third billing. And it's also a showcase for first time actor - um- can't remember his name. Really made no impression one way or the other. (In fact, was he even in the film?)

But mostly it's an opportunity to watch John Malkovich turn in a performance that had to - HAD TO - be a direct challenge to the director, "Please, fire me.I'm begging you to fire me. I'll do a take like this and then you'll have to fire me. Wait,I'm still not fired?"

Kevin Murphy joins Mike in the RiffTrax International Studios (and Small Engine Repair) for Eragon, the blockbuster fantasy epic that forgets to be a blockbuster.