Library World
School's out, and this summer, there's only one place to find elementary school children.
No, not the basketball courts. No, not the movie theater. No, not the swimming hole, they cut down the rope swing after Tommy broke his leg. No, not the mall. No, not skateboarding in the parking lot. No, not knocking over a casino. No, not freeing giant killer whales from captivity. No, not protesting in advance the 2016 Sochi Winter Olympics. No, not recreating Jersey Shore episodes shot by shot with Playmobil figures. No, not...
**TIME PASSES**
No, not poaching rare California Condor eggs. No, not participating in college health department cold studies. No, not picking up Kanye West's dry cleaning. No, not the swimming hole, LOOK, WE ALREADY TOLD YOU THEY WEREN'T AT THE SWIMMING HOLE! THEY CUT THE DAMN TIRE SWING DOWN AFTER TOMMY BROKE HIS LEG. THEY ARE AT THE LIBRARY, OK? THE DAMN LIBRARY!!!!
Yes, the library, or liberry, if you're an idiot, is the hot spot in town for fancy book learnin' (replacing Luigi's PizzaMat, which held the title from 2004-2009). Library World tells the story of two children who are on the verge of making this discovery: A little boy who's skeptical of how much fun you can have at the library and his friend, a more enthusiastic child who is well versed in the library-going experience. With the help of a hot rod-stealing 70's tool, who breaks new ground in the field of "having nothing better to do," they'll learn that the library isn't just a place from where you can check out books. It's also a place where homeless people can escape nasty weather because the librarians are too meek and defenseless to kindly ask them to leave because they're frightening other patrons.
Mike, Kevin and Bill head on down to Library World, where they tried to find out where they keep the old stacks of National Geographics, but were too embarrassed to ask the librarian.
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