You know that feeling when you’re being chased by a murderous re-animated giant, and you’re like, “Where’s he FROM? What middle school did he go to? I wonder what he’s all about?” but there’s no time for small talk because he’s a murderous giant trying to murder you? Well, good news, we’ve found a movie that tackles this awkward situation head-on: Giant from the Unknown!

A sleepy mountain town called Pine Ridge has a big problem: someone’s been mutilating their cows. Ah, it must be the giant from the title of the movie, you’re probably thinking. Spoiler alert: nope! Who IS mutilating the cows? Another spoiler: we never find out! It’s just one of the many confusing joys of this movie, with its unlikeable sheriff who seems like a villain but isn’t, and its Giant from the Unknown who is quite clearly a Giant from Spain, as the archaeologists searching for him make extremely clear over and over again.

WILL we find out where the Giant is from? (Yes, Spain). WILL the mutilator of cows be brought to justice? (No, that storyline won’t be resolved in any way). WILL the hunky archaeologist hook up with the blonde or the brunette who are the only women in town? (We’re not telling you that one, tune in to find out!)

Don’t miss the Giant from Spai-- er, sorry, Giant from the Unknown, with Mike, Kevin, and Bill!

Written by:
Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason

Contributing Writers:
Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer