The phrase “worst movie we’ve ever done” comes up at RiffTrax, usually followed by some disagreement. Like, “Oh sure Fungicide was bad, but did you forget about Baby Ghost?” Friendly arguments follow, only occasionally coming to blows. But this time… Things time… there is no disagreement. It’s definitive, universal… the worst movie we’ve ever done.

It almost feels wrong to call Things a movie. Things is more of an experience. It opens with a basement nightmare — at least, we hope it’s a nightmare — then eases into the main action of two bored Canadian guys trying to kill time in a dingy house while their buddy Doug sits in the next room. They find a tape in the freezer full of demonic recordings. They put tap water in their beer to make it better. They make a cockroach sandwich. And, eventually, some Things show up from another dimension. They’re bug monsters that don’t move because they’re not even puppets. The hosers go to battle with the bugs, using tiny chainsaws and drills. Meanwhile the movie goes to battle with your senses, as you try to make sense of what you’re seeing and hearing. Fortunately, we’re here to help guide you, or at least share in the “HUH?”

On top of all this, the movie keeps cutting to a fake newscast with a fake news anchor played by a real adult film star. You might think the news she’s reporting on relates to the story in some way. You would be wrong.

And that’s just scratching the surface of everything that’s going on, and not going on, in Things. There’s nothing else like it, thank goodness. Join Mike, Kevin and Bill and try to answer the question, what is Things?

Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Sean Thomason

Contributing Writers: Jason Miller and Zach Shatzer