Nicholas lives alone in a rundown shack, filling his days by whittling, growing out his prodigious beard, and occasionally being portrayed by a different actor in wide shots.
Since a hilarious tragedy struck years ago, Nicholas (which can be abbreviated to NICK, by the way) has lived the life of a SAINTly hermit, but he still has GIFTS that he could give to society if only he was able to one day BECOME SANTA CLAUS. Wait, that was too on the noise, strike that last one!
It’s the most predictable film twist since it turned out Keyser Soze was dead the entire time, and observing the whole thing from afar is a deer that the narrator claims was present at the birth of Jesus.
Debate over this dubious theological fact has caused countless schisms, crusades, and holy wars over the millennia. Merry Christmas!
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