The Banker

The Banker, as you’d expect, is an '80s slasher movie about a serial killer murdering prostitutes. Perhaps this is some kind of ultimate overdraft fee, or quite likely, it’s just the most inappropriate movie title that’s ever existed.

It’s up to Robert Forster to stop this madman, whose profession may or may not be in a banking adjacent field. When we first meet Robert, he’s passed out, surrounded by beer cans, in his nephew’s treehouse. Presumably, this is where the real life Robert Forster woke up after reading the reviews for Dragon Wars: D-War. 

The killer, who in all likelihood has probably at least set foot in a bank, or at least used one of those cool pneumatic tubes they have at the drive-thru window, is full of rage, has some serious sexual hangups, and a disturbing fascination with Snow White. He’d fit in well on the Internet in early 2025.

Rounding out the cast is an intrepid reporter who tires of reporting fluff pieces and decides to meddle with the primal forces of nature, a guy who eats spaghetti in a strip club, and Jeff Conaway. Granted, there is also a person in this movie who worships a great old god that only he has heard of and hunts humans with a crossbow, but clearly Strip Club Spaghetti Guy is the most deranged character in the movie. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for The Banker (does not contain any banking).

Written by: Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zach Shatzer