Are storm clouds gathering overhead in your late 1930s European home?

Are you a useless arse who wants to make peasants dance in your bedroom (purely for research purposes), or a plucky gal embarking on a depressing bachelorette party before settling into loveless British marriage (in other words, a British marriage)?

Perhaps you're keen to commit adultery somewhere the papers won't spot you, or maybe you just enjoy openly disparaging foreigners? Then why not come to moderately sunny Bandrika, famed for its bloody awful music, accents of all nations and magical vanishing ladies of a certain age? Yes, at last you have an opportunity to visit this beautiful country in the company of expert guides who are conversant in English spoken loudly - the Lingua Franca of anywhere they use stupid foreign words like "Lingua" and "Franca."

Yes indeed — due to popular demand, Ian and Matthew are riffing something with even more impenetrable English accents! But that's not all, you lucky people! This film also contains a range of bonus funny European accents from a country that doesn't even exist! We present The Lady Vanishes - an Alfred Hitchcock classic from before he went to America and did anything you've actually heard of which is quite good, and probably only fell out of copyright because people got busy having a war and stuff.

Why not join us on this trip of a lifetime*? Anything else simply wouldn't be cricket.

*Lifetimes may vary in length, quality and excitement. Ask your physician if existential ennui is right for you.