Beaks! Sure, everyone agrees they’re the tastiest part of the chicken, but as this movie shows, they can also be dangerous! 

Beaks! goes by a few alternate names, like Birds of Prey (sans Harley Quinn) and Falco Terror (an objectively cool title), but of course we had to go with the version that provides its own thrilling punctuation. It stars a Blue Lagoon-less Christopher Atkins, and it’s an eye-plucking delight. Seriously, there’s a lot of eye-plucking. Whether you’re hang gliding, enjoying coffee on your balcony, or sitting in a small country church, the birds in Beaks! are more than ready to pluck the heck out of your eye. Don’t get plucked!

We know what you’re probably thinking: how can they riff a bird attack movie that features no coat hangers, songs about hangin’ out with your family, or slrpnls? Well, when you see this film try to be scary with a flock of pigeons just minding their own business, or a happy little family of ducks floating in a pond, you will understand. This is truly a new level of bird based non-terror.

Watch a local news team soar around the globe on a seemingly infinite budget to report this goofy story. But while you watch, don’t forget to also cover your eyes, on account of all the plucking. Throw on some goggles and join Mike! Kevin! and Bill! for Beaks!

Written by: Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason

Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer