We Discover the Dictionary weaves the enchanting tale of three grade school children who discover the dictionary for the first time. And that’s all well and good: they use it to write a thank you note to a police officer who must have lost a bet or something, because he had to come talk to their class about bike safety. But if we may nitpick for just a second...

As far as discoveries go, “Discovering the Dictionary” probably ranks down there with Columbus “discovering” America in terms of least impressive feats. First of all, the dictionary, much like America, was already there the whole time. It was just sitting on teacher’s desk, gathering dust. Second, much like America, people were already using the dictionary before these three idiots found it. In fact, it’s hard to argue that anybody could “discover” the dictionary when it’s in fact a book created by other people. Thirdly, these children immediately begin to abuse the dictionary, looking up words like “poop” and “weiner.” Sure, this isn’t quite offering smallpox blankets to women and children, but monsters come in all shapes and sizes!!!

Sorry...Sorry...we just found out we don’t get Columbus Day off from work and are kind of bitter. Don’t get us started on the Pinta either...

Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as they discover the dictionary, ignore the thesaurus and drop Bartlett’s Book of Quotations on a reallly gross beetle.