Ladyhawke (with Cole Stratton and Janet Varney)
Hawk by day. Wolf by Night. Screenplay by committee.
Richard “Goonies” Donner helmed this mess of an ‘80s fantasy film starring Matthew Broderick (Ferris Bueller-ing his way through medieval times with a Yonkers accent) as a young thief who aids cursed lovers Michelle Pfeiffer (just a few years away from sitting on chairs backwards in Dangerous Minds) and Rutger Hauer (acting the minimum required from a replicant).
Add Alfred “Doc Ock” Molina as a creepy hunter, John Wood as a Bishop about as lifelike as a PEZ dispenser, and Leo McKern as a monk with an ASMR breathing problem and you’ve got a movie that can only be described as “a backdrop for a bizarre synth soundtrack by Alan Parsons pressing 'Demo' on a Casio keyboard.”
Janet Varney (“The Legend of Korra”) and Cole Stratton (The Legend of Billie Jean - he watched it once) battle their way back into the RiffTrax booth after a long hiatus to poke affectionate fun at another mid-80s gem.
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Just the Jokes are simply MP3 files which are DRM free and can be enjoyed on any device that can play this common audio format.